Yo Canadians: keep reading until the end to find out how you can win $100 worth of gift cards just by commenting on this post.

So, Royale paper products, Canadian makers of fine toilet paper with those iconic white kittens on the package, are running a contest.  The Royale Reno-cation Contest has a grand prize that includes both $13,000 to spend on a home renovation in any way the winner chooses AND an 11-day, $7,000 Royal Caribbean cruise for two on the “Jewel of the Seas.”  Pretty sweet, eh?

As well, an additional $5,000 in prizes will be given away to secondary winners in the form of 15 weekly prize packs from the Royale Luxury Bath Collection that include a personal heated towel rack, new luxurious towels, and premium Royale robes.

If you click on the icon,  you can enter. In fact, you can enter every day. And they give you ways to increase your chances – like by playing the ‘game of the week’. Check it out:

Royale and Mom Central Canada have also given me the opportunity to give away my own Reno-cation prize. This is a topic I was interested in blogging about because (a) if any house needs some renovation, it’s my house and (b) who doesn’t dream of a good holiday?

Where would I even start with $13,000 to renovate? Well, just give me a minute.

(a) Our crappy ensuite that doesn’t even actually have a door, off our bedroom.

(b) The BE-YOOTIFUL tiles in said ensuite.

(c) The GORGEOUS tiles in my children’s bathroom.

(d) The STUNNING brick fireplace.

(e) The ugliest tiles ever, in our front hallway.

or, (f) The horrible kitchen counter top.

Oh, this house. This house which has tiles and counter from the 60′s and 70′s, and yet was not built until ’89 was built in 1979 (I was wrong!). I despair. I don’t know. Actually, I do know. I know that we need to leave instead of tackling it all! But if I was to win the Reno-cation, I’d replace the hall tiles and family room carpet with hardwood floors. Mark votes for more windows replaced (we’ve done some).

And for a dream holiday? We are lucky enough to be heading down to Orlando in a couple of weeks.  We’ve cobbled together a little vacation from Mark’s business trip, a drive to Buffalo to save over $1000 on airfare, and scoring a deal on a resort near Downtown Disney for two nights.  I know how lucky we are to be able to go anywhere at all.  But I’d also love to take a holiday and not have to look for a great deal. To not have to take the kids. To really, truly, relax and enjoy.  My dream vacation is to have the honeymoon that we stopped planning: to hit south of Rome, Sicily and the Amalfi Coast, most of all.

So, all you shiny maple-sweet Canadians you, all you have to do to win BOTH a $50 Cara Restaurant gift card (accepted at Swiss Chalet, Montana’s, Milestones, Kelsey’s and Harvey’s) AND a $50 Home Hardware gift card is leave me a comment and tell me what your dream Reno-cation would be – how would you want to renovate your humble abode (whether you rent or own or squat), and where would you love to travel?

The rules:

1. One entry per person, please. Play nicely.

2. No extra entries for tweeting it, or whatever.

3. Make sure you include an email address so I can contact you if you win. If the winner doesn’t have contact details, I’ll pick someone else.

4. This contest runs until April 27th – that’s a long time. Feel free to pass it along to your friends and family throughout the month of April. I’ll be providing reminders once in a while on Twitter, and I’ll keep it linked on the top of my blog home page. But remember, only enter once!

5. I will use random.org to pick one random commenter as the winner on April 27th at 9pm EST.

Good luck!

Disclosure: I wrote this post while participating in a blog tour for Mom Central Canada. I will be receiving a $50 gift card (for Cara Restaurants or Home Hardware) for participating.

Below is one of the saddest faces you’ve ever seen, surely.

How cruel, Emma, to leave your poor doggy in the rain. How cruel to leave Piper outside in the cold and damp. Well, yes, normally she’d be inside. Except she’s public enemy number one right now.

Late Friday night, Mark let her out in the garden and she returned to the house covered in dirt (she can’t resist rolling in stuff that stinks, it’s so wonderful), foaming at the mouth, and with an odour. Not just any odour. A smell that came in like a cloud around her, of burnt food and petrol. She didn’t smell like skunk. But she smelled absolutely horrible.  We took her down the hall to our bedroom to give her a bath.  As it was nearing midnight, we washed her, dried her as best we could, and went to bed.

Of course on Saturday when we woke up, we realized just how much the smell had permeated the house. And the damn dog, despite being blocked off in the kitchen after her bath, had found her way to our bedroom in the middle of the night.  It was turning into more and more of a situation.

What we never really got was the proper skunk smell.  I’ve been reading stories (while Googling remedies to treat dogs, and the house) on the internet that involve the smell being so horrible that it makes people vomit. So we’re wondering if she barely got hit. Or if there was something wrong with the skunk?

No photos, please. I hate you.

Whatever happened – she stank, and the cloud of stankiness was following her wherever she went.

Luckily, I had already planned to take the kids to my parents’ house Saturday afternoon, while Mark was going to get some stuff done around the house. So the same thing happened – except his hours alone involved a lot of hydrogen peroxide, baking soda, Febreeze, vinegar, and mopping.  And giving the dog many baths.  And leaving the windows open.  And doing lots of laundry.

For my part, I ended up giving the kids baths at my parents’ house, as they had been in the same room with her before we really realized the scale of what we were dealing with. I’ve put their coats and things in the wash.

The house has now been cleaned many, many times, and the smell is mostly gone. I think. I hope. Except when the dog comes in the house. So we are actually trying to keep her outside most of the day.

Please? Please? Can I come in? Please? Please? Please?

She hates having baths. She’s really pissed off.

Incredibly, incredibly bad timing though. When we are trying to get the house ready to put it on the market. When we are taking the dog with us to my grandparents’ house in Ottawa for Easter.  When we are trying to keep our momentum up from our weekend of tidying.  And? I’d really like to not walk around wondering if I stink. Damn dog. Damn skunk.

I’m alleviating a degree of my working mom guilt today; for the first time, I’m spending two hours volunteering in Oliver’s kindergarten class. To be honest, the idea of 20 4- and 5-year olds in a big swarm of chaos is kind of terrifying.  Thank god I won’t be alone.  I would like to be more involved in his school; I’m busy, of course, but part of me, I think, is resisting because I hope we are moving. It’s a shame, because his teacher is lovely, and it’s a nice new school, and I would get to know some other people in town.  At least he will have had his first school year with a great teacher.  I’m stuck in a mindset where I can see us living somewhere else, making a life somewhere else, and I don’t really want to come down to earth yet.

*

We did it before. And we’re doing it again. Yes, this weekend, the Easter Bunny is being used for a pacifier intervention.  This kid has got a dependency.  And we need to send him to rehab. Or at least trade in his dummies for a toy or two.

Old photo. Callum hasn’t been photographed with that shameful thing in ages. He only sucks in private, keeps it to his bedroom at night, but looooooooooves it.

But I’m probably going to miss it more than he does.

(PS – no, I have no idea why we picked the Easter Bunny.  Timing, I guess. They just happened to be old enough at Easter for us to decide it was time)

I’ve had this orchid for ages. Years. It had been sitting beside my stove on our kitchen island, withering away, getting drier and brown-er. I assumed it was dead, so I put it by the sink beside the compost bin, with the intention of sacrificing it to the green gods.

And then look what happened.

That’s, like, a metaphor, right?

Worth more than gold, SIGN
HERE post-it flags line my screen
like a lion’s mane.

The library shelf
says ‘take a book, give a book’.
Here, books go to die.

*

The sign says don’t leave
your dishes in the sink. Some
times I do. Rebel.

*

All around me, shades
of grey, brown, beige. Bright dishes,
clothes shatter the dull.

*

What is that bright light?
Fluorescence? Could it be sun
light? Making me squint.

Evidence of lunch
eaten at my desk most days:
crumbs in the keyboard.

*

Type. Send email. Type.
Check Twitter. Sip. Send email.
Type. Check Twitter. Sip.

*

Sometimes I get paid
too much. Sometimes I don’t get
paid enough. Balance.

*

She passes my desk.
Stomps like an elephant. Just
like my husband does.

*

Every time I hear
whispering through cubicles,
think it’s about me.

(PS – DISCLAIMER: I do actually love my daytime-paid-outside-the-home-job, and I won’t normally talk about it on here. These are merely human observations, nothing to associate with one particular workplace.)

In keeping with my decision to keep most reviews & giveaways off of the main blog, I’ve got a new book review up over at my other site.  It’s a really compelling read, dark but good – Even the Dogs by Jon McGregor.  He’s in Toronto tonight at the Ben McNally bookstore for his launch, as well.  Penguin Canada provided me with a copy to review.

I’ve also, as I mentioned, got some information over there regarding hydraSense products, and a coupon code from Mom Central Canada.

As I also previously alluded to, I’ve got a really generous giveaway coming up before the end of the month – I think, in that instance, I’m going to keep it on here since it’s not a review of a product, and it dovetails with our current effort to put our house on the market.

This weekend, the kids are having their first sleep over at my parents’ house by themselves.

And Mark and I?

Are going to get sweaty.

And dirty.

There’s going to be a lot of heavy breathing.

Yep, that’s right.  We’re cleaning the house.

More specifically, we’re tackling the basement (a.k.a. the 3000 sq. ft. rubbish bin), sorting things into keep/toss/donate piles, and doing a whole lot of de-cluttering.

With the hope and intention that we’ll be a lot closer to putting it on the market.  And we may even be ready to get some help with general cleaning before we list (I couldn’t get a cleaner if I wanted to right now – there’s too much crap everywhere).

I know it’s no romantic weekend away, but I am really, really grateful that we have this opportunity. I suppose we might be able to fit in a nice meal on Saturday night.  But, we’ve got a million and one things to do, and we’ll be focusing on tackling a least a few of them.

(sorry, I generally stay out of the gutter around here – usually)

Before:

After:

So it’s March Break. Apparently. I think we kind of missed the memo. I think we need to start thinking about scheduling our vacation time around school vacation time. Bear with me, I’m learning slowly, my kid is only in JK.

So, we aren’t away. The kids are at daycare. I’m at work.

Except, I did manage to schedule one fun thing this week: tomorrow, I am taking the afternoon off to take both Callum and Oliver to see Yo Gabba Gabba Live.

I have exceptionally high expectations of this afternoon together because (a) it’s costing me a fair bit of money (kids’ live shows = EXTORTION); (b) my kids, especially Callum, love Yo Gabba Gabba; (c) I love Yo Gabba Gabba because I can pretend to be a hipster parent for 5 seconds when they have the Shins or the Ting Tings on the show, and we don’t watch it that often so I am not totally sick of it; (d) Chris and Patrick from Sloan are going to be dancey-dancing with the cast during our performance; and (d) I get to sit with Mamalooper and Cheaty and their kids (who I am sure my kids are going to love).  And hopefully we’ll hang out for a bit afterwards.

Thankfully, daycare has their act together more than me, and is also taking Oliver on a few field trips this week.

And I’m going to do my best to make it a bit more special than usual, even though we’ll be at work and dealing with the usual crap that comes with life being busy.

Because that boy? Adores school.  And he’s going to be missing it this week.

(Weirdo.)

He also doesn’t know what’s in store NEXT weekend, when him and his brother have their first sleepover at their grandparents’ house without their parents.  Now that? Will be a March Break.

Hey, remember that review blog I put together?

What Emma Thinks About Stuff

(yes, I will also be winning a prize for most original blog title)

Anyway, there’s some stuff going on over there right now.

First of all, if you have a baby who has a nose, you might be interested in my post about hydraSense nasal aspirators.  There’s a review of one of their products, but most importantly, information on how to get $8 off that aspirator on the post.

Second of all, in the near future, there’s going to be a pretty awesome contest going on over there. With a link to an even bigger and better contest.  I’ll let you know as soon as it’s up and running. And it is open to anyone in Canada. Nothing to do with babies and their snot. All human beings will be interested in that one.

Thanks, in the end, to Mom Central Canada, who provides these opportunities for bloggers like me to find out more about brands and products we are interested in. You can also sign up to be on their product testing and survey panel, and participate in a number of ways if you become a member.