You may have noticed there’s a little event happening tomorrow: the marriage of Prince William and Kate Middleton. I mean, it’s a little hard not to notice as the media has completely FREAKED out. But I’ve decided that instead of condemning them, I’m joining them in their hysteria. There’s so much horrible stuff (death, destruction, war, etc.) going on in the world right now, why not a little diversion? Or a big diversion that happens to be right up my alley? This is a fun, silly week. I’m having a good time.

I was going to have a royal wedding party at home, but I figured no one would be joining me at 5am. No one I know is that crazy. So instead I proposed the idea to the social committee at work – for our branch to have an early breakfast before the work day really started, and everyone loved the idea. We’ll be having tea and crumpets, and scones, jam and clotted cream in our hats and fascinators at 8am.

Are you going to get up early? I can’t decide if I’m going to turn on the television at 4am or 5am – thankfully there’s a TV at the foot of my bed so I can snooze before I actually have to wake up properly.

I have lovely friends and relatives who keep buying me Union Jack-themed items. I kind of adore them (both the people and the items!). Somehow, upon moving back to Canada, I’ve become the one showcasing our British background. Mark could really care less. Actually, he’s probably embarrassed.  Here’s a few things from around my house that may or may not be coming to work with me tomorrow morning, because decorating a room for a royal wedding party is easy when you’ve got these things in your possession:

(Extra special thanks to my mother-in-law for the William & Kate tea towel that arrived just in time)

Cheers, Kate and William. All the best. Thanks for the excuse for the silliness.

(Most of these things are made by one of my favourite companies, Emma Bridgewater. They don’t know anything about this post. I just love their stuff and I either buy it for myself or someone gifts it to me.)

Out of 6 comments that met the contest criteria, the winner of Alyson Schafer’s new book is…

Sara! Congrats, and may you not ever need to consult it as your kids will always be perfect angels.

Thanks for entering, and thanks to Mom Central Canada and Wiley for the review and giveaway opportunity.

It started with a Blackberry Messenger conversation, as many great things in  my life do lately (BBM being my primary method of communication with my husband and many of my friends – for better or worse). 

It started because someone was wondering why the ‘mommy bloggers’ weren’t talking politics.  But actually, the group of us (bloggers who happen to be mothers) having the BBM chat were definitely thinking about the election and the parties and candidates and discussing it privately.  A public conversation idea was generated.  A way to organize issues and discuss them. It started there and grew and bloomed and became something bigger (go see the Facebook page, and make sure you watch superstar Karen on the National).

I’m still thinking about the original question, though.

Because, why aren’t mommy bloggers/tweeters talking about politics? Why are they just talking about their desperate need for coffee and getting a manicure and anything else that apparently doesn’t really matter? Or are they?

This accusation is thrown around a lot. What, because I don’t have a post on this blog addressing world hunger? Or Libya? Or Japan? Or the reasons behind the almost-government shut down in the US — the budget bickering that I’d love to step in and sort out myself? This is my space. I can write what I like. Including the mundane. I can escape here, if I so chose, if the weight of the world is heavy. And believe me, it is. 

The personal IS political, of course. I know I could easily find a post about health care or child care, for example, on this blog. I’ve had many conversations with others online or in real life on those topics – and they are major political issues that really matter.

I might not be ‘talking’ politics all the time, but I’m certainly listening. I can’t even tell you how many reporters I follow on twitter who’ve been on the campaign trail with the leaders. I read major newspaper articles. I watch the National almost every night. I am informed. I am processing. I am listening.

‘Mommy bloggers’, and oh the term makes me cringe, are still seen as just silly women in their online discourse, despite being a ‘bloc’ that can turn companies on their head. We’re not just worried about painkiller advertisements and diaper brands, however. 

We know that our vote counts, just as any other adults’ does.  We know how to read your platform and we will dissect it to see if it matters to us. We don’t need the issues dumbed down for us – we’re not dumb. We do have a slant. We are parents, and that role can define our lives.  I can’t help but look for a party’s position on child care, or maternal health, or the environment.  I need to think of the children in this family when I cast my ballot.

In having a small hand in creating ‘Mom the Vote’, I’m actutely aware we ‘mommified’ yet another phrase. I don’t like the mommification of any word (oh my god, I have to stop using these pretend words) because hell, we are voters, not momvoters.  But we are already called something different online.  We’re not called bloggers. We’re called mommy bloggers.  So the mom stayed in the phrase. And the hashtag.

(Hey! Create your own! #catloverthevote #grandadthevote #ihatechildrenthevote #fishermanthevote…I could play this game all day.)

I’m not going to be talking about my personal political leanings or how I will vote. I’m not going to advocate for a certain party or candidate. I am not going to engage in any public partisan political discussions online because of my employer and limited political activity rights - except to say: vote. You have to vote. It’s a democracy. Get informed and do it.  These parties and these leaders? They have and they will make decisions that affect your lives.

If you’re a parent, you might be interested in the conversations that the #momthevote hashtag and the Facebook page started. If not, that’s just fine too.

But next time you wonder what moms are talking about online? It might be more than mastitis and not enough coffee and Barbies and Lego. And even if it isn’t, you don’t need to scratch the surface too far to find a major policy issue (maternal and child health care and work/life balance and toy safety standards, anyone?).

We talk. We opine. We use social media. And we vote.

I don’t read too many parenting books any more - not just because of the lack of free time in my life, but also because it feels like we’ve fallen into our family groove as far as ages and stages go.  This isn’t necessarily a good thing – I’m sure some of our approaches to managing challenging behaviour will result in the kids seeking therapy one day.  But we try.  And sometimes something works. And sometimes we lose it, and it’s not quite so good.

An author that I do tend to listen to is Alyson Shafer.  I had the pleasure of seeing her talk at an event at my work about 2 or 3 years ago, and I knew I had to buy her last book, Honey, I Wrecked the Kids. Her explanations for toddler behaviour in particular made perfect sense to me, and when I remembered to, I applied her techniques with success.

It’s the remembering part that can be tough. Particularly when you’re desperate to get the kids out the door to rush to the train to rush to work and whatever. Or you’ve had a long day and you’re feeling at the end of your rope and someone would rather jump on the couch than go to bed.  One of my favourite things about this new book, Ain’t Misbehavin’, is that it’s written in the format of short chapters and sub-sections with clear headings like “Whining” or “Won’t Brush Teeth” or “Nose Picking” so you can quickly flip to a particular page to see what she suggests.

Of course, I didn’t pick those particular chapters for any reason since my kids are angels.  La la la la. I’m just going to pretend for a minute.

Schafer approachs child behaviour from an Adlerian psychology perspective, which from what I can glean is a very positive approach to child development — that we learn to understand our kids’ motivations and we support them to achieve independence and democracy in the home.

In exactly a week from tonight, we’re going to try getting Callum out of the diapers and the pull-ups cold turkey.  Easter long weekend seems like a good time to try to this.  You can bet I’ll be consulting chapter 4, “Potty Training – and the Democratic Approach to Toileting” for some assistance. Wish us luck.

 Would you like to win a copy of Ain’t Misbehavin’ to consult for yourself? 

 Here’s what you need to do:      
-Leave a comment sharing why you’d like to read Ain’t Misbehavin’ (Canada only)
-One comment per person, please.
-One winner will be chosen from the comments, using random.org, on April 21st at 9pm EST or soon after.
-I’ll contact the winner for their name and address, and Mom Central Canada will send you the book.

Good luck!
 
Disclosure – I am participating in the Ain’t Misbehavin’ program by Mom Central on behalf of Wiley Publishing.  I received a copy of the book to review and gift card as a thank you for my participation.  The opinions on this blog are my own.

It was a labour that took the entire 9 months. Nine months of hard work, of losing faith, of frustration. Nine months to achieve the result we were hoping for. How many different ways can I now say FINALLY?! I wasn’t sure this was ever going to happen.

I’m trying to be excited at the opportunities that lie ahead, trying to keep my head about me when all about me someone else is losing theirs – but having the person you’re married to completely losing their head about finding a place to move to does rather put a damper on things.

And so, to find the home. Wish us luck. A swift delivery, please.